Pittsburgh says: Go away

I hate being mad

Why, you might ask, gentle reader?

I will tell you. Madness, also known as anger, as frustration, leads me down the path of idiocy. I lose control of my reason, a powerful tool, and become a shrieking, or at the very least, shrill, harpy.

Alas, I became a harpy today, in the wake of two incidents of public -- I will not say rudeness, because I do believe rudeness requires malice aforethought -- but of public unconsciousness. In other words, I encountered people so utterly out of touch with the fact of their presence in public spaces that they were utterly unable to see their way toward accommodating another human being. In the smallest of ways.

Allow a single person already exiting a door through which you and your posse are about to enter? Nonsense. The out-of-touch will have none of that and simply barrel through the door and over, through and around the solitary exiting person, who will be lucky to make it through without bruises.

And yet another door user, exiting and, before doing so, turning briefly and seeing more human traffic behind him, and despite this, exiting and then, yes, dear reader, pausing, nay, stopping in his moronic tracks, yes, I say immediately outside of the door. Pausing thoughtfully to survey his surroundings. And, being a total fucking moron, oblivious to the people traffic exiting the door behind him, who, much like the band in that apocalyptic parade scene in that finest example of satirical American cinema, "Animal House," simply followed their course, stacking up against the wall of flesh created by one human moron. Ahh. Of course the sin is upon not the moron, but those who expect the smallest of civic courtesies.

Now, to the last tormentor of my reason. It is No. 3, but by virtue of being sicced upon me by a faceless corporate entity, must and shall live in a separate category.

It begins thusly: "No trespassing!" "No loitering!" "Private property!"

A public space -- designed as such some 50 years ago when Pittsburgh truly deserved, as it most assuredly no longer does, though some lazy media outlets continue to rely on it like a crutch, the nickname of "Smoky City" -- has been turned into a No Fly zone by current ownership.

Gateway Plaza, its gorgeous, severe and yet serene Mid-Century Modern design already having been squashed, cluttered and fussified some few years ago by said current owners, has now been ruled off limits in the area of a certain restaurant patio, cutting off pedestrian access through the plaza at one of two sets of steps toward Liberty Avenue.

Perhaps the plaza has become a haven in recent years, with its shady arbors and welcoming benches, for layabouts, the unemployed, oh, the folks who enjoy reading during lunch hour or just a chance to sit in the noon sun and enjoy their lemonade. And yet, it is so odd, truly, that property managers, in the name of discouraging such behavior, block off only the access around a new restaurant, which, like its apparently less fearful predecessor, has parked tables and umbrellas on the patio in an area that is open, airy and unshaded. Exactly the sort of space that malingerers and evildoers would NOT frequent, perhaps, because, rightly, even sub-human brains would recognize that such a spot would not be the ideal place for engaging in questionable deeds.

The arbors with deep shade, however, are still available. Bad guys, come on down.