Shiny coins

A few years ago, three girlfriends and I went to Paris for a week.

It was a fabulous trip, made all the more so because we had traveled together before. We are comfortable as a group or setting off solo and catching up later. As it happened, we spent a lot of time together on this trip and had lots of "Oooh! shiny!" moments.

One of our group is insatiably curious and incredibly smart. When something catches her eye she stops to examine and wonder. Often we would be wandering only to realize Carol was one or two blocks behind us, engrossed in her latest "Oooh! shiny!"

I thought about that today after finishing an essay by Hanif Kureishi, published in the New York Times on Feb. 19. The headline, underneath an illustration showing, inside, children in a grey-toned classroom and outside, a wave of brightly colored birds and fish, read:

"The Art of Distraction
A flighty mind might be going somewhere. Is our focus on focus misguided?"

The thrust is that distraction, especially, but not exclusively, among children is not a problem, but rather a problem-solving tool. A way for a mind focusing too intently to wander, explore and solve the problem subconsciously, using other neural pathways.

Kureishi especially points to the strait-jacketing influence of Ritalin therapy on children. It forces them to focus, but on what? A boring classroom? A rote-memorization test? Perhaps the solution to the "My child can't focus" problem isn't medication, but parental embrace of curiosity and as Kureishi puts it, "flights of fancy."

Of course, I'm the unmarried marriage counselor here, having no kids of my own. But I do have a mind that tells me every day, when I am faced with a work problem or personal stressor, to push away from the desk and go outside for coffee, to walk to the gym or just upstairs and back down again.

That push-away usually gets the problem solved. And if it doesn't, I've been distracted enough to look at it with a fresh eye. Or I've seen something neat that made my brain say "Oooh! shiny!" Another coin tucked into my cranial treasure chest.

That is why Carol is so amazing. She saves every shiny coin she sees. And they all come in handy one day or another.

For the other side of Kureishi's coin, KJ Dell'Antonia.

The picture is of an entry in the annual Art Prize competition in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Our foursome went there in October to celebrate Carol's birthday.